For the second time, I’ve missed my self-imposed “every two weeks” blog deadline, and I’m seriously annoyed.  And can’t think of what to write.  So I’ll get someone else to do it.

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Hi, this is Megan’s husband doing fill-in duty because my wife is doing so many things that if she does another thing, she will go out of her mind.  So, what will I, a completely not-published human being, tell you at this time?

First, if you are the spouse of a first-time author: read everything when they want you to if you possibly can.  Also, try not to say “That was good” and leave it at that…give them a compliment.  Make one up if you can’t think of one: “The margins are so even!”

If you are the infant or toddler of a first-time author, please route all requests for Cheerios to the other parent if possible.  Listen with understanding when the non-author parent says: “Those banging and screaming sounds are normal–Mommy’s writing!”  Above all, do not pour juice in the keyboard, no matter how satisfying the sizzling sounds might be.

If you are the parent of a first-time author, talk about how you knew your child would be successful even if it’s not true.  You probably shouldn’t say things like, “Oh, that was a nice first draft, when will it be revised?”

If you are the pet of a first-time author, stop gnawing on the computer’s power supply and quit puking on the darn bed.

That’s about it.  I bought my wife two weeks for Mother’s Day.  Top that.