Tick… Tock…

This process will make a patient woman of me yet.

I’m waiting again.  This time for an answer.  A final answer, at least from one publisher.  It may be a few weeks, or a couple of months, but the answer will come soon, or so I have been told.  I’ve done everything I can do, controlled everything over which I have control.  I finished my revision and resubmitted the manuscript.  Now I wait.  And while I wait, I attempt to armor myself against disappointment.  Which is, of course, impossible. 

As I’ve mentioned, my first creative world was the world of theatre, not literature.  I was an actress.  A real one!  With an Equity card and everything.  I worked in New York.  I never made it to Broadway or anything, but I did work off Broadway, and I toured, and I often worked downtown where the work itself is a delight but the pay is not.  I used to get up at four in the morning to go to auditions on freezing New York winter mornings.  I’d sit outside the Equity building in the long line, singing my sixteen bars to keep me warm, but I almost never got the job I was there to get.  I learned to survive the clipped dismissal from the other side of the casting table.  “Thank you,” they’d say, that little phrase that masks so many brutal truths.  “No.  Not right for us.  Thanks for trying.  Maybe next year.  If you were shorter.  If you lost weight.  If you were blonde.  If your resume were better.  If you were more of a dancer.  If we were in a better mood.  If you weren’t so much like that girl we already hired.  Just not what we had in mind.” 

I can’t armor myself against the sting.  The sting of failure, of rejection, is a horrible, hissing pain that gets in all the grooves and burns like acid.  Even so, I do know how to survive being turned away.  Personally and creatively.  I’ve learned that lesson repeatedly.  I know how to get up, dust off, and keep working.

Here’s hoping that, this time, I get to learn something new.



  1. I still live in the Pacific Northwest, but not in the Seattle area anymore. My husband and I moved back to Oregon a few years ago to be closer to family. I’m assuming you’re in the Washington area, so if I find myself there, I’ll let you know. I certainly would love to catch up with you.

    I am awed by the way you juggle writing and your other responsibilities. I don’t know how you do it. I’d be lucky to get in half a page after a full day of work. Since you’ve already started the trad publishing route, it does make sense for you to see it through. You’re such a gifted storyteller. Any publisher would be lucky to sign you up. At least, these days, writers have options, especially those who write cross-genre books like you. I haven’t queried or self-published, but from what I’ve read, each route takes a certain time commitment though in different ways.

    Here are some blogs/articles that provide insights regarding indie vs trad publishing:





    Whatever route you ultimately take, I’m just happy to hear you’re still writing, and that this time it’s your original work. When your book/e-book gets published, I’ll be one of the first to buy it. 🙂

    Best of luck!

  2. Hi, Justice! I was so excited to see your name pop up this morning. Are you still in the Pacific Northwest?

    I have a special situation right now that I want to see through to the end (re: traditional publishing) and then I’m not entirely sure what I’ll do. In some ways, I think that the series I’m working on is a better fit for indie publishing, simply because it doesn’t wedge comfortably into any one box (it’s not quite middle-grade, not quite YA, not quite adult). But I know very little about what it would require to self-publish, except that it would be an enormous undertaking. Between having a full-time job, and a family, and pushing myself to keep writing, it’s hard for me to imagine having the internal resources to be my own publisher as well. But I’m sure that, when the time comes, I’ll figure out how to balance it. 🙂

    Thank you so much for the very kind and encouraging words, which are fuel to me! And do let me know if you’re still living in the PNW, because I’m back out here now and would love to get together for coffee or something.

  3. Hi Megan,

    It’s your old friend, Justice. I’m so thrilled to stumble onto your blog! It’s been ages since we’ve had contact, but from time to time, I check Amazon to see if you have any published work already. This is how much I believe in your writing, and how much I’ve enjoyed your stories. I’ve missed your stories, and I’ve certainly missed you. ☺

    It looks like you’re going the traditional publishing route, and that does take a long time. I know you mentioned in your first entry (and I haven’t read all your blog entries yet) that if your book does not get traditionally published, you’ll publish it yourself. Perhaps this is presumptuous of me to ask, and I’m sorry if it is, but with the popularity and success of indie authors these days, have you considered skipping trad publishing and going the indie route? There are so many indie authors who have gotten offers from publishing houses after self-publishing that it seems to me that this is now the new way to go, in this day of e-books and e-readers. Some indie writers have not only gotten offers, but have made to the New York Times Bestseller list on their own, as indie writers. There’s Colleen Hoover (who recently made it to the top of NY Times Bestseller list), Tammara Webber, Hugh Howey, to name a few. And there are a good number who do both traditional and indie, as well as many who simply have switched from traditional to indie, like JA Konrath, whose blog is such a goldmine of information regarding publishing, both traditional and indie.

    Perhaps it is self-interest that I even bring this up. I’m an impatient person, and it would kill me to have to wait to read your book, and if you self-publish, I could read your work much sooner.

    Hope you forgive the impertinence, but it is good to see you on the Internet again.

    Justice Rillera (aka Kata)

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