Don’t Stop Me Now

Cause I’m havin’ such a good time – I’m havin’ a ball.

It was a long and tiring work week, and I had meetings or supervised activities on four out of five of the work days, but I still wrote 25 pages between Monday and Friday.  I don’t think this is because I am suddenly a stronger, better person than I was a few weeks ago.  It’s simply that I’m caught up in the story I’m writing, and I want to read the rest of it NOW, RIGHT NOW.

I have something of an addictive personality, or at least an obsessive one.  I’m no psychologist and don’t really know the difference, but I’m sure one of those descriptions applies to me.  I can’t watch just one episode of McLeod’s Daughters, no, I have to watch season after season like eating popcorn by the buttery handful.  I can’t just enjoy Knights of the Old Republic, no, I have to become the character and identify with her completely, going back five or ten hours of play if I realize I have backed myself into a corner that my character would never accept – and then I have to write hundreds of pages of Star Wars-style fanfic and even take Karate for a few years (really) to fully satisfy my geekery.  And when I said once before that I was a fan of Harry Potter – well really, let’s not even get into that yet.  If you think that what I said about Knights of the Old Republic borders on psycho, then you don’t even want to hear about HP.  That particular obsession was bottomless and literally life-altering.

Being obsessed with something I’m writing that isn’t derivative is pretty amazing.  I love it.  This morning at 2:45, my crying son needed comfort, and yet again, once he was back down for more sleep, I was up for two hours, typing away.  I won’t even be that tired today because of it, because I went to bed early last night, when I hit a brief wall in the story and wasn’t sure how to get to the next plot point.  In the middle of the night, I realized “It’s raining, that’s what’s next,” and that blew open the next segment.

Of course, eventually, obsession does lead to burnout.  I know that this wonderful driven feeling won’t last forever; eventually, I’ll have to drive myself, whether I feel like it or not.  But for now, I’m just going to keep enjoying the ride. 


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