Social Media and Me

I used to be online-savvy.  Really, I did.  In like, 2004.  These days, I have a Facebook page, but that’s about it.

Now that I’m gearing up to publish a book, I’m looking around at other authors’ web sites and blogs and Twitter feeds, and I’m realizing that I am way, way out of the loop.  I sent a frantic e-mail to my extraordinarily social-media savvy friend,  Melissa Anelli.  Here is the text of that e-mail.

What is an @?
What is a #?
I do not get it.

She put me straight, and I started a Twitter account.  It’s just sitting there.  I’m not sure what to do with it.  Tweet things?  What things?  It makes me nervous.  I’m a voyeur right now, watching what other people say, trying to figure out how to jump in.  I feel like I’m watching two jump ropes swinging in opposite directions and I’m supposed to leap in without tripping and start doing double dutch.

There are other things, too.  Things that are mysteries to me.  Tumblr.  Instagram.  I hear these things from the mouths of my middle-school students, so I know they are of vital importance, but I don’t know what they are.

It would probably help if I had a cell phone.  Oh, I know.  I KNOW.  No cell phone?  How do I live?  Technically, I have a cell phone, but it doesn’t count by today’s standards.  My husband and I share an emergency disposable phone that does the following things: 1. Makes calls.  2. Receives calls.  (I think you can also send texts with it, but I don’t really know how to do that, either – I KNOW.)   My point is that it’s not a Smart phone. It is a Sad phone.

I have promised myself a really cool phone when I sell this book (notice I am not letting myself say if).  I will do other, mature, responsible, adult things with my advance also.  But I will buy a cool phone, because I will deserve it – and possibly need it. And when I have my cool phone, I will Tweet like a bird and Tumbl like a ninja.  Or whatever the cool kids are doing these days.

(Edited to add: this article helped.  One thing at a time.  Cool.)


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